Why I’m vegetarian

This is the funniest answer I’ve heard from a person on why they are vegetarian. Oh no. This just turns my farts into sharts. Really? I’ve lost all hope in society and faith in humanity. Here we go:

“Since childhood I really wanted to become a doctor just like my favorite teacher.  I focused in school really hard and earned honors.  But I made bad decisions and a wrong turn somewhere and it cost me my ambition.  Life turned for the worse after my parents died in an accident, I rushed away from home to work in the city and left everything behind.

Unfortunately, I ended up lost in drugs and other petty crimes.  In 2009, I was rushed to the hospital for multiple stab wounds and another one in 2012 for a gunshot wound in the chest that penetrated a lung, both incidents were gang-crime related violence.  After a successful operation and my condition stabilized, the head surgeon gave me a visit while I was on my way to recovery.

At first I wasn’t able to recognize her, then she revealed to me that she was my pre-school teacher and she was really happy to see me all grown up and having that chance to finally speak to me. But her smile slowly dissipated as she told me that it really saddened her the first time she stitched me and my second trip to the operating table broke her heart in pieces. She also confessed that a few months after my parents died, she tried to make an arrangement with my uncle that she would pay for my education and lodging so I’d soldier on my ambitions, but it was too late.

She later added that it made her feel like a failure because she had seen a bright future in me for my discipline and diligence in school and not this criminal state I am in now.  It was at this emotional moment that I began to recall everything about her and it made me break down in tears, she was my inspiration and my goal was hers too. And in a surprisingly swift move, she suddenly turned me on my side and then inserted a carrot in my butt. Now I’m vegetarian after being injected by carrot.”

I, ‘writer-dog’, have now had enough of humans. Out of all the flavors there are in the world, why does a teacher choose to be so nasty? Let me go pee near the neighbour’s lawn. 😀 Watch me down here 😀


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