Picture story: Shut up and fish!

You never realise how boring your life is until someone asks you what you do for fun. I didn’t have an answer when Wild Girl poised me as such, just a look of disdain. Anyway, I figured out that once attacked by a woman, play dead, or play her favorite song. I don’t know any favorites for women so I played dead. But that didn’t work for long since she pulled a wrapping of fries out of her handy and my nose could see all that she was doing. Eventually, I couldn’t hold it,

“I’ve finally worked up the courage to tell you how I feel.”

“Is this the part where I’m meant to start blushing and giggling?”

I let out a feline yawn (no need to interpret that, a yawn means the same thing in every language) then;

“I feel hungry.”

Amidst the munch, I blurt, “I mean, a table, a chair, a bowl of plums and a blog; what else does a man need to be happy?”

Of course I’m lying. Other things that make me happy are squeaky gates at a lone park, abandoned hallways and empty lecture halls at night or sipping coffee as I watch the dark whip the daylights out of a Friday evening. Does that ring any bell? Look at you, that’s why you’re all dumb. What on earth is a bell doing inside your head?

Anyhow, Monday has found me dusting my archives and treating a hangover of a very boring weekend that was spent tapping my feet, with my heavy boots of course, in the library and shushing people that complain. Then I bump into these old snaps that have a story on their ‘behinds’ that I itched to tell. So these sum up Monday.

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Looks like this was another boring Monday when I had a lot of nothing to do. I therefore set off for the jungles to look for wild berries. Wait a minute, did I just say wild berries? I meant wild ventures. Please understand, it happens frequently when I’m seated near a fat person. Apparently when I see fat peeps I get hungry and if your name is Barns I’ll say “Buns”. It’s called ‘fat tooth’? I guess so. Of course I decided to look towards the skies wishing the roman gods would throw me a blog story, though I’d have preferred manna if they could afford it but that’s not how they roll, and that’s too classy for them.
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And then since everything is so boring that I’m bored of being bored, I decide to look at the CCTV and smile so that later on I’d process picture grabs of the damn day as a record of how boring boredom can get.
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It’s the same old story of Jack and no play telling Tom, Dick and Harry of his endeavors through his blog when someone points into the small pond beside us and just claims they heard something poop into the water. I figure out that the heavens can’t have stooped this low so I tell her to point at the exact scene of action wondering ‘maybe one of the aliens jumped off their cliff ‘. Being the only man here, i swing into action.
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As if to confirm my fears, bubbles scatter from the centre of attraction in the water and i enquire from my feminine company whether they meant ‘something pooped into the water’ or ‘something popped into the water’. I get a closer look by going a few steps down the nylon wall of the pond and a young fish, probably the last born dives up to sell their dirty old trick. Oh goodness! Could there be fish in there? ‘Hey fishy are you all in there? You’re gonna drown men, I’m gonna save you right away!’
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I pick my mosquito net from my rucksack, take one awesome look towards the CCTV for a perfect picture grab and mutter to the voices in my head to relax while i set up to play ‘super man’ and save all the fish from drowning in the pond. “Yay fishy! Here I come!”.
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I looked at where I saw the damn midget jump up and about but it’s no easy task. A chilly wind whipped reassuringly at my face so that i wouldn’t quit. This idea of fishing suddenly became like the allure of the taken man to a single bachelorate, so tempting!
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Someone poops at my left, but later on i discover that actually it was something popped at my left. That one should be pursued to the letter. Yes, it’s thrilling but not that rosy. It never is when you don’t know what type of idiots are nibbling at your feet and toes in the water.
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I decide to pretend i ain’t looking at the fishies so that they do their thingy and i get down on them as they do their thingy. I look towards the skies trying to think of something stupid like “If pigs could fly imagine how good their wings would taste”, and stupidity always attracts stupidity, guess what? The stupid creatures are suddenly nibbling at my toes like bait..
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I look left to trick them to move right. You know how a fisherman is a jerk at one end of a line waiting for the other jerk at the other end of the line. Only that this time I’m brighter; using a net so that i get many jerks!
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Then i look rightwards to make them go left. In such a process they won’t arrive at their destination but will get trapped in the net.
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So i test the catch. Whoa?! What a hell!
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The catch is so bountiful; I give a wink to the CCTV so that a grab can relate to this event.
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What else does a man need? If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world. So what do I do for fun when there’s a pond nearby? I FISH :d
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But the net is so heavy. Sorry, I won’t show you the fish because you’ll think of a funny comment about the size and you won’t tell me ;). Right now I’m sitting here wishing i was out fishing. BYE!
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