Right now it’s sunny and we’re back from weather forecast. Frankly, I didn’t have lunch when I signed off here last. Just walking from Chiromo and a bark from the woods lured me to the security dogs’ enclosure just beside the Sch. Of Mathematics block. Soon, I was staring at a well trimmed German shepherd hound who yawned, so it made me yawn, then it made the other bulldog yawn and ended up doing that for hours in a never-ending cycle like a round song.
I cant reckon when I shifted to barking back at a white-and-black pissed off pregnant bitch in her kennel but an arriving security guy jolted me to my normal self. Being normal is so boring. Of course the sanguines’ enclosure is out of bounds business to all non-security; so here was trouble; yet I’m not real good at talking my way out of trouble since it’s the talking (to the dogs, remember?) that got me into trouble in the first place.
This guard guy looks like he accidentally poured whiskey down his throat instead of doing his walk-around-guard ‘biashara’ (business). I hate trouble but I know how to run away from it; I made a dash for the Chiromo woods blowing dust and leaves that left him seeing those dots or squiggly lines that are sometimes visible off to the sides of your visual field. They float around and then dart out of sight immediately if you try to get a good look at the bastards. Those damn things, I call them martians.
By the time I was panting and back to my laptop, I was so exhausted, looking at the sky in a daze, seeing white spots zipping around like tiny ghosts. Do you see such things sometimes? People call them stars. Actually the white spots are your white blood cells shooting through the blood vessels in your funny shaped eyeballs (yes, I know) chasing diseases and stuff. Lol. How did we even get here? These are the disadvantages of freestyle writing; one minute I’m telling you story of my life, the other, I’m with you in the woods, sky, making you play with the voices in my head, etc. and you are still following me you patient and loyal stalker. You know what? I like you. You keep me writing :D.
Oh, I was giving reasons why I wasn’t back early enough to do weather forecast (2), leaving you dangling (or is it hanging?) in suspense, and burning with want as if it’s breeding season. I wasn’t punishing you. After I’d seen my stars and stuff, my pal walked in with her baby and leaves me in-charge as she was going to see whoever (the Dean or something?). Surprised?
- Yes, she brought her baby to campus.
- No, it’s not my baby.
I’ve answered your questions. This one was wailing like a siren. Now, babies scare me. The whole pooping, puking and crying thing drives me up the wall considering nature denied me the one thing that seems to effortlessly calm them down. Boobies. Babies are the real masters I say. They’ll have a grown up me making animal noises in no time just so that they can smile. Or even curve my face into 3 triangles, 2 squares and a parallelogram to make them stunned. See?
By the time all this had happened, I couldn’t post in my blog and trespass Wi-Fi was too weak. But these aren’t problems. Problems are when you can’t remember the last time you slept since when you hit 16. I was suffering from chronic insomnia (that’s what idiots call it), something I preferably call resisting-a-rest. And that cute name because, how do you just lie in bed still, like a dead pretender with imaginary buckles called dreams under a soldier’s, who is called sleep, watch?
Opportunity used to knock every time at my door; what with choosing subjects at school; having a narrow glimpse of a bright future; and all hopes fuelled up. My mind opened up to real stuff politically, emotionally and socially and I felt in control of my life, catching every bull by the horns. Nevertheless, I got furious so fast and felt like throwing bricks at peeps who told me to calm down. Calm down? Am I the weather? And why tell me that, like are you the baboon? Just to remind you, I envy my 16th year. Right now opportunity doesn’t even visit, just sends me random texts or leaves me looking at the window after the whooshing sound of it flying past above me.
We need an emoji here; :(.
Oh yeah, and by the way I also got to my last year in high school. Too tired to finish studying; and by finish I mean start. I was just about to get done with high school meeehn (is there such a word?), but not life.
School’s done! Hurrah! I want to lie on the floor and not think for a month or two. Or stay in bed whole day and hope to achieve something in life. Or do a crazy thing like stealing a ferry, writing such nonsense, spreading rumours, and snooping around in the supreme court . Yet I learnt something: That the only cool thing about cigarettes is when you don’t smoke one at all. Cool, huh? Life’s really an experimental phase, I have a feeling there’s something more real than this. Have you ever thought that maybe the universe is some old project of an alien kid who got a C, hanging in a volumetric flask on a shelf in a science lab in space? Maybe I’m wrong and alone. But I suspect we are being used for research.
Whistle! Hustle! Bustle of life. Oh, I miss school. Is there no pocket money for life after high school? *sob*
Campus starts happening though after two years at home. I hate 8-4-4. 2 years at home! Reminds me, that some of you Kenyan 90s kids are the double intake lot. Lucky you. Lucky that you’re still getting into campus as KIDS! LOL.
But I haven’t even began the real weather forecast for you lot who’s anxiously underage reading this. Funny thing is that if you’re past this ages, you’re either wishing you had a cool life like mine (hahaha, did I say cool?) or reading a my diary entries which is like going through the history of previous days’ weather. And who does that? Well, you.
Year 21 to today
Is anything happening in my life? Or our lives? I don’t know. Some story worth telling though. In my 2nd year of campus, I wasn’t in school, neither home nor anywhere. I was nowhere. I disappeared. Where was i? Never mind, just crown me for suspense.
*kneels down as nearest reader crowns me*
*applause from readers who have other tabs open on their browsers like facebook, twitter and instagram*
*stands up, bows, and continues writing*
Have you stopped to wonder who was doing the writing when I was receiving the suspense crown? Lol. I’m trying to show you what’s been happening since when I got 21. I went crazy. Not mad crazy but water-melon crazy. I am still too young to have these many embarrassing memories. But, did you ever get into a point in your life when you stopped and realized that if you hadn’t met a certain Person, your life would be completely different? Did you note the Person is in capital P? *sigh*
Before you get some of these => passwords <= into my life system, let me just bullet highlights of my 21st year to date:
- People in class 8 actually go out and hang out together than I do :(.
- some people my age have children, i’m like what the … i’m a child 😀
- I would literally throw last year’s version of myself down the stairs 😦 🙂
- 1 universe, 8 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries and you had the fortunate luck of meeting me or my blog; God really loves you 🙂
- I’ve grown super attached to people so please give me a 60 day warning before I stop existing to you :(.
- Friendships end for no reason, we just stop talking :(.
- I’m the type of person who’ll miss you to death but do nothing about it so I don’t look like the desperate freak :(.
- I want to meet someone in my life that makes me feel the way music feels 🙂
- If you knew me in high school you might never believe me but trust me people change 😉
- How do you block people in real life, like in facebook? 😦
- I need a 2 hour long hug some day 🙂
- somewhere between emotional and emotionless 🙂 😦
- I always want to sit outside and talk to myself all night long, do you sometimes? 🙂
- I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing more stressful to me than wanting to have a conversation with someone but having absolutely nothing to say 😀
- The above means i suck at being human.
- I have friends and i also have no friends at the same time. a text from you would be great right now, you feel me? 😦
I said bye, go away. Signed off.