I’m back. Someone just told me something like “i beg to differ” and I’ve been wondering those people who beg “to differ”, why can’t they beg other important stuff? Like beg money, food, clothes, c’mon if you wanna be a beggar be a good one at it. Got me? Always wondered too, what if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again. Anyway today is Friday, lecturers are on strike so let me fill you on the details of my endeavors. Let me hope when they’ll be back, it won’t be like : *goes back to school after a long break* how do i hold a pen?
I’m so happy. First I’m happy that the campus called Chiromo is so quiet, void of life, serene and of course not in the usual frenzy the grounds are used to. There’re no students here.I’m really having a good time staring at the birds without anyone suspecting I’m nuts. I’m seated beside the river, and this place is where i scrutinize the various happenings that have gone on in the country. First of all, i received an inbox in my Facebook account (RIP Facebook. Too many of our parents joined) from a student at Mathare (that insane institution). They need a completely new management. This student says for the past 5 weeks, they’ve been eating eggs daily, and he hasn’t laid any of them as yet. Too bad, the principal should do something.
That’s not all, i called the principal, told him of the complaints i’d been receiving and that i’m voicing my concerns like a concerned Kenyan. He sprung into action like i expected. He called all the students to assemble in the hall, brought the portable blackboard at the front of the hall, drew a big door on the board and told all the students, “if anyone is tired with being a student at Mathare please walk out, the door is open.” Oh mercy, they students all ran towards that “door” and now everyone is injured. Those students have really had enough, see?
Just last week, they were so pissed off till they held demonstrations. This’ what happened; they had organized a prison-break style run-away-from-school sneak-out. They gathered together at those wee hours (you know that time of the night when the wind says wiiiiiii continuously as if whispering sweet nothings into your ear) of 3 a.m, then tiptoed away from their be-holdings. They walked and walked, but they couldn’t reach the fence of their residence. And so the leader (bright guy called Kachizi, top of the class in Mathare) revealed to them his realization that their school actually had no fence, which is of course true. No fence!! The students walked back to demonstrate the lack of a fence in their school. They did that for the whole of the following day. Someone should really do something! They need a fence!
I’ve received numerous complaints and I’d wish the leaders in our country do something. Another thing, the academic grading system is so unfair. Take for example the case of a student called Mabrains. He was to be assessed by his lecturer with two other students to determine who’s who, so that the who’s who goes to the next grade/level , that is, receives an award/certificate to be free, “go out there and get a job”. In short, i mean graduate :). The exam is easy. They are locked in a room and told they have become chicken and so everyone is to behave like chicken. (To pass such a test, you just have to know that you are not a hen of course and keep silent).
Mabrains’ accomplices seem to be failing the test since one of them, Kamangu, starts crowing like a cock and running after Khoisoi who has assumed position as the hen. To the lecturer’s bewilderment, as they are running wildly and around in the room, Mabrains is squatted far in his corner silently looking at the ground as if meditating. The lec assumes he’s now to graduate since he knows he ain’t chicken. But he decides to query Mabrains, “why ain’t you behaving like your pals?” Mabrains answers crossing his finger vertically across his lips, ” shh, don’t disturb, I’m laying an egg.” Oh goodness! Mabrains is told to repeat two classes. That is so unfair!
Just recently, the syllabus was changed. How do you even do that when exams are around the corner on your way to the dining hall, eh?
I call upon all the Kenyan ministries involved to investigate and intervene before havoc is wrecked. They told me to tell everyone that they plan to sneak out on 17th March (on my birthday), that’s as a birthday gift to me, then they’ll faithfully report back the following day. Thank you for being concerned and reading through. We can donate funds through MPESA 0717158091. I am not always this stupid, just making a special effort today. And it’s because everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and I’m just over here like “I love food.” I’m actually so sarcastic all the time its gotten to the point where i have to tell people im serious when i compliment them.
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Disclaimer: *the use of the term mathare does not refer to any existing institution*